Kitchen Sink Gucamole for Instant Gratification

3 ripened avocados, shell-less

1 little tomato, chopped

1 onion, chopped fine

1 jalapeno, chopped really small

1 small bunch cilantro, chopped

1 lime, juiced

3 garlic cloves, mashed

1 tsp cumin

salt

Mix it all together, if you under mix the avocados will be chunky, over mix and it will be  smoother.

Eat with chips, or make a quesadilla, top with guc and then sour cream, then slice.

I lika a lotta Lime Cheesecake

The improvement of key lime pie is key lime cheesecake.

1 3/4 cups graham cracker crumbs

4 Tbsp. butter, melted

1 cup  sugar

3− 8oz. pkgs cream cheese, softened

2 tsp. vanilla

1/3 cup fresh lime juice (about 4 limes)

1 tsp lime zest

3 eggs

whipped cream

Preheat oven to 350*. Coat all the crumbs with butter  in a bowl.  Press the crumbs onto the bottom and half way up the sides of a springform pan. (If you dont have a springform, you can try a cheesecake pie.) Bake crust for 5 mins.and set aside. In large bowl mix cream cheese, remaining sugar and vanilla. Add the lime juice and eggs and beat till smooth and creamy. Bang the filling on the counter to disturb neighbors and get air bubbles out. Pour filling into crust. Bake for 60 mins. if you have a habit of grand canyon cheesecakes, there are all sorts of tricks to help avoid them, none of which work. The best solution follows.

You're looking for a light brown it's done. Remove from oven and allow to cool till room temperature. Put into fridge. When chilled, remove the pan sides and cut.

If you have a grand canyon down the middle top with whipped cream.

BLT - Zombie Style

BLTs are great, but add a little avocado and they may be the ultimate sandwich.

4 strips bacon

2 leaves roman lettuce

2 slices of a large heirloom tomato

1/2 an avocado, sliced

1 tbsp mayo

a couple leaves basil, sliced thin (or a little frozen cube, they sell them in supermarks)

a little garlic clove, crushed

4 pieces of sandwich bread, toasty

a wee bit of oil.

Mix the mayo in a small bowl with basil and garlic. Heat up a pan with a little oil, place bacon in the pan slowy and in a zig zag fashion, folding it over itself where it zags. Once you get the desired color on the bacon, remove the bacon from the pan and drain on a paper towel. Spread mayo on all slices of bread, then layer with lettuce, then bacon, then avocado, then tomato, cover with the second slice, do all this twice for two sandwiches. Wrap up and take with you for picnic dinner, starting just before sunset. Then drive over to your favorite ice cream/frozen yogurt place, cause BLT should always be followed with frozen goodness.

Chicken Curry Salad Sandwich

Every Zombie needs a little kick in their lunch sometimes, if you can get away this is great as picnic fair. A short picnic is a great way to break up the day.

1 cup chicken chunks

2 tbsp mayo

a celery stick, chopped

1 green onion, sliced

a small handful of raisins

a small handful sunflower seeds

a few springs parsely, chopped

2 tsp curry powder, (or 1 tsp paste)

Some bread

Mix all the ingredients together, tasts and see if you need to season. Spread on bread, and wrap in wax paper, (for easy transport).

With a little mango juice, carrot slaw and oatmeal raisin cookies youll have a little picnic to share with someone.

Honey Pass by the Mustard Sauce

Easy Honey Mustard Sauce

1 tbsp Mustard of choice, (jalopeno mustard is divine in this)

2 tsp Honey (preferably with a nice dark color)

1 clove garlic, crushed

2 tsp butter

1 tsp white wine vinegar

a little hot sauce (if your mustard isnt hot)

Combine this all together in a small bowl. Make a cup of tea, place the bowl on top, after a couple of minutes give it a little stir, if the butter has mixed in you're done.

This is great with chicken or pork chops.

Ultimate Grilled Cheese

April is Grilled Cheese Month

Three ingredients

Bread

Cheese

Butter

That's all you need, but for the ultimate try,

Baguette

Gruyere

Take a 5 inch piece of baguette, slice in half almost all the way. Flip the bread inside out, so the soft white is now outside, with the crusty inside. Fill the inside with slices of gruyere.Spread butter on the white outside. Heat up the Foreman grill or your two heaviest pans. Place the bread inside the forman or between the two pans (with the heavy pan on top), If using pans, you have to flip after you get a nice color on the bottom.

There are plenty of extras that can also go in as you grill

a little tomato

some ham or salami or turkey or a combination

sliced onion

After grilling

cucumbers

tomato

avocado

ketchup

mayo

If you have a sweet tooth, drizzle in some honey

Easy Sparkly Sangria

A true Zombie Style Drink, easy, quick and lots of fun, with just one bottle.
1 bottle Spanish Wine
1 bottle Orangina
1 apple, peeled and sliced
1 orange, sliced
1 lemon, sliced
1 lime, sliced
2 kiwis, peeled and sliced
Place fruit in a large pitcher, top with wine, just before serving stir in Orangina.

Hummus with a Lime Twist

Hummus with lime instead of lemon juice has an extra kick, best hummus on the block.

3 cloves garlic, peeled

1 can garbanzo beans (aka chickpeas)

4 tbsp tahini (try the mid east section of the supermark)

2 tbsp lime juice

a little bit of cumin

Put the garlic in the food processor, and pulse til finely chopped. Puree the rest all together. Taste, you may need to add salt.

To garnish have fun with toasted pine nuts, chili oil, a little chopped parsley in the center, and pomegranate kernels along the rim.

Preheat oven to 350. Butter a bundt.

Shift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.  Set aside.

Cream the butter and add the sugar, beat until the mixture is light and fluffy (longer than you think about 5 minutes).  Add beaten eggs, one at a time, mix after each addition. Beat in the vanilla and sour cream.

With the mixer on low speed alternately add the flour mixture and the milk to the batter, in three additions, beginning and ending with the flour.

After preparing the batter, pour half of the batter into a separate bowl.  Stir the melted chocolate into one half of the batter, mixing well.  Place the batter into the prepared pan by alternating spoons of vanilla batter and chocolate batter.  Then, with the end of a wooden spoon, gently draw swirls through the batter to marbleize it.  Don't over mix or you won't have that wonderful marble affect.

Bake for about 50 - 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool for about 10 minutes before removing the cake from the pan to cool completely.  Serve warm or at room temperature.

bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped

1 tbsp coffee

2 1/4 cups flour

1 tbsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup unsalted butter

1 1/4 cups granulated whitesugar

2 eggs

2 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup sour cream

1/3 cup milk

Cream of Asparagus

One of the main problems with sould is that it ususally makes enough to last a good week, which if your not a "let's have leftovers" person can get tiresome. Asparagus soup can be made with only 1 bunch of asparagus.

1 bunch asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1 inch pieces

1 shallot (or half an onion), chopped

2 cups broth of choice (I usually use chicken)

1/2 a cup milk (or cream if youre feeling extravigant)

1 tbsp butter

white pepper

Saute shallot in butter til you get a nice golden color, add asapargus cook a couple more minutes. Add broth and bring to a boil, boil for 15 minutes. Scoop out the veg and put in the blender with a little water, til smooth. Pour back into the pot, add white pepper to taste, but be careful a little goes a long way.

The Photo collection

Chicken Schnitzel for One.

(Have the butcher) Butterfly and Pound one chicken breast until its half an inch thick at most. Beat an egg in mid sized bowl, add chicken make sure its well covered with egg. Place chicken in a plate with a couple of tbsps bread crumbs, mix in some parm if you like. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Heat 1 tbsp canola oil in a frying pan, while the oil heats up the chicks get a chance to rest. Cook the chicken for at least a couple of minutes a side (depending on the thickness) shouldnt take more than 15 minutes at most.

Serve with any mashed veg. Such as Mashed Cauliflower. or with stemed veg and some Honey Mustard Sauce.

Cauliflower Mash, Looks like Potatoes, Tastes like Zombies couldn't pull it off

Peel two potatoes, and cut into 1 inch pieces. Seperate a head of cauliflower into florets. Let's get dangerous. Place veg in pot with two cups of cream, a couple springs of thyme, salt and black pepper, (and a clove of garlic if you like). Bring to a boil and simmer for 20 minutes. Mash it all with tool of your choice, (if you want to reduce the fat remove some cream, before you mash, youll get a thicker texture.) Cauliflower mash isnt as picky as mashed potatoes and can be reheated. This dish will make a cauliflower lover out of anyone.

Using Up Leftovers - Ham

Well hopefully you didn't get a really really big one, here's a few ideas for using up the remains of the ham.

Spaghetti Carbonate - the Original Zombie Food

Zucchini and Ham Omelet

Homemade egg mcmuffin

Quiche lorraine

Leftovers Zombie Style Pizza

Pressed Sandwich (not to be confused with paninis)

A Zombie's Greek Salad

So so good, full of veg

Half a large cucumber, hothouse, and chopped (amazing, they only come around in the spring, look for them)

2 tomatoes, halved, once you buy an heirloom tomato, youll question the sanity of people who buy anything else, i like the dark ones that look like plums

1 pepper, sliced (or three small so you can have all the colors)

half a red onion, chopped

4 thick slices of feta

handful of kalamata olives

1 tsp dried oregano

2 tbsp red wine vinegar

4 tbsps olive oil, (best to use a golden colored one)

no lettuce, no lettuce and no cabbage either, youre selling out if you use them

Veg in bottom of a salad bowl, mix. Place feta on top, and olives on top of that. Drizzle with vinegar, olive oil, and oregano. (Makes the feta look nice.)

Using up Leftovers - Easter Eggs

This time of year, breakfast is pretty much predestined to be eggs all week long, but if youre looking for

a few other ideas...

Egg Salad sandwich, try mixing in a little sprouts for some extra crunch, or add some curry

Deviled Eggs, you could always try no piping bag zombie style deviled eggs.

Salad Nicoise you can go for the traditional tuna packed in oil, or change it up with some salmon

Salad Russe - Potato Salad with semi mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, eggs, pickles, mayo, lemon and white pepper

Try something new

Egg casserole

Moroccan Egg Sandwich

Vitello tonnato - which only uses the yolks


Doro Wat is an Ethiopian Dish, Check here again for my grandmother's recipe

The North African Egg Salad Sandwich

This is Moroccan Street Food.

Half a pita

Boiled egg

onion (white or green)

olive oil

Cumin

Salt

Pepper

Open up the pite, smush a boiled egg with a fork into it. Add some onion, a little olive oil, some cumin, salt and pepper, and mix it all together in the bread. Enjoy simple street food from Morocco, without the airfare.

Using up leftover easter eggs: zombie style deviled eggs

Peel and and slice in half 6 eggs,

pop all the yolks out into small dish,

mix in

1/4 cup mayo,

a couple of teaspoons of chopped chives,

1 tsp dry mustard (or prepered if you dont have dry),

a couple (well 6 would be most devilish) sprinkles of hot sauce,

a little salt and pepper.

Spoon yolk mixture into whites,

top with a little paprika,

or more chives,

or little bits of ham,

or caviar,

whatever you crave/have.

Serve a few with leftover asparagus as a fancy appitizer, and follow with egg salad sandwich, if youre really devilish.

This is the time of year for egg salads and deviled eggs, if you find you went a little over board in how many eggs you dyed this year, that combo can get a little old. Why not try something a little more adventurous this year, and make an Ethiopian dish?

• 1 large chicken, cut into pieces, skin removed


• olive oil


• 1 stick butter


• 2 onions, chopped


• 6 cloves glaric


• 1 can tomato paste


• 3 tbsp ethiopian pepper


• salt


• 5 hard boiled eggs, peeled

Directions

1. Make slits in the meat. If you're using tofu, cut it into 2-inch cubes, then boil the cubes in a covered pot for 5 to 10 minutes until they puff up and become spongy; this enables the tofu to absorb the sauce. Rinse in cold water and drain.


2. Heat a few tablespoons of olive oil in a Dutch oven or skillet. Add butter or margarine, melt, then add the onions. Cook over medium heat until somewhat soft, then add garlic. When onions are translucent, stir in tomato paste and about 1/4 cup of water. Strain the berbere and add it to the mixture. Add salt. Put the Chicken or tofu in the pot, coat with the sauce, and cover. Simmer, stirring often to make sure the sauce doesn't stick or burn; add water as necessary to keep the sauce the consistency of thick ketchup. If you're using eggs (traditional in doro wat), add them whole to the mixture after 30 minutes.


3. Simmer on the stove top about one hour. The sauce should be a rich, deep red. When the dish is done, hold in a warm oven until ready to serve.

Ice Cream Float Zombies Worship

The Best Ice Cream Float ever devised.

The promise of this float will give you power over any Zombie.

The great ratio

1 cup of Pepsi

1/2 caramel ice cream

For a single serving, pour the soda into a large drinking glass, reserving just a little. Add the ice cream and mix untill mostly dissolved. Top with remaining soda for extra head and serve.

You can also make an entire punch bowl, for a dangerously additive attraction.

Top Tips for Grocery Shopping Like a Cheap Ass Zombie

Living like a zombie its easier to toss into a cart then to give it all much thought, but follow the tips below for a month, and you can become a cheap ass zombie.

• Figure out your budget - What would you like to spend, say $70/wk, or $315/mo. then think of it as daily amount, which is $5/day per person, doesnt sound like much, but the next step can get you there.


• Create a threshold amount, if its over $3.50, think about before you buy it.


• Figure out what actually needs to be organic, and what you can get away with,


• Stop going to Whole Foods, and if you don't like the Trader Joes near you, try another one.


• Eat Soup, really cheap if you make it yourself, fills you up, and it lasts for days, African Zombie Peanut Soup is really easy to make


• Be a veggie a few days a week, eat an egg dish once a week, and try a turkey meatloaf with lots of worcestershire, you may find yourself really liking it


• Have leftover carrots, a couple baby potatoes, some peppers, make Zombie Style Leftovers Pizza.


• Buy not just seasonably but reasonably (priced) A blueberry in California never has a forgiving price tag unless frozen


• You have a blender, use it, try frozen fruit, with water, honey and some lime juice, very refreshing, and you can make just a single serving


• Get cuttings of herbs from your friends' herb garden, put them in water til they sprout and then plant them (even cheaper and faster than seeds)


• Make eating out a really treat, if you spend a $1.50 less on food a day, you'll have $45 at the end of the month to go out.


• When you have company coming over and you want to go all out, stuff a turkey breast instead of making a roast.


• Don't eat cold cereal, if you cant live without it, take leftover nuts (from your days as a splurger) and coconut and oats and make your own granola.


• Think cafeteria food desserts, there's a reason they serve what they serve, it fits in their budget. Rice pudding, fruit salad, and jello

Try this for a month, then compare the contents of your cart (or your reciepts) before and after, you'll be surprised at how much you've changed, in fact you may never be the same again. The colors of your cart will be of the products and not the packaging, the cart will be fuller, but cost less, and you may even find that you don't feel like a cheap ass zombie, but more like a smart one.

Zombie Style Rice Krispy Easter Eggs - Kid Friendly and No Dyes on grout, hands, countertops, floor, sink, sponges, mop, kids, husband, cat...

You could make your own Rice Krispy Treats, but if youre making only a few, its Zombie code to buy them premade.

1 box individually wrapped Rice Krispy Treats

1 small box Trix cereal (you can get the small 1 serving each 8 small box combo thing)

Separate colored cereal pieces and crush them. Reshape treats into egg shapes, dip into crumbles you want the egg to be, you can use more than one color to create patterns. Youre Done! Clean up is a matter of vaccuming.

Zombles love a Wordles

Zombie Monkey's Bread Pudding - A two part dessert for the social zombie

Night 1- Act Like a Monkey

Monkey Bread

2 tubes biscuit dough

2 tbsps cinnamon

1/3 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar

half a stick butter

Mix sugars and cinnamon together in a bowl. Cut all the biscuits into fourths. Roll up each fourth of a biscuit and roll it in the sugar mix. Fill a bundt pan with sugared balls. Melt the butter and remaining sugar together, pour on top of the biscuits. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Its best served warm, people pick it apart and eat with their hands as all good monkeys.

Night 2 - Put the Zombie into the Monkey

Left over monkey bread

Some milk

an egg or two

Cut the Monkey bread up into 1 in cubes. Put into a small oven proof dish. Mix egg and milk together, and pour on the bread, bake at 350 for 20 minutes. The sugar turns into a slightly spicy caramel, oh yes.

Pavlova meets Zombies

I love this dessert, but making a meringue is just not a regular zombie activity. Buying meringues, thats the zombie version.

Trader Joes tub of vanilla meringues
1 bag frozen strawberrys, defrosted, drained and chopped
2 cups sweetened whipped cream (can be from a can)

Well you can make this into a parfait, if you like a lot, but if youre going for the classy look, get out the small dessert bowls.
In a large bowl combine cream, most of the strawberrys and crumbled meringues. Scoop out small roundish amounts put into bowls, top with remaining berrys.

TV Zombies... What to eat while watching... Seinfield.

The great thing about Seinfield was that food was a big part of nothing. So many ideas spring to mind, marble rye, 100 year old cake, a big salad, fresh fruit, italian ice, but I believe the trumpt card is cerel. There is so much cerel consumed on that show it may have even started a night time cerel consuming trend.

If Popeye was a Zombie Pasta

1 package Spinach Pasta
1 bag fresh spinach
1 garlic clove, sliced thin
1/3 cup pine seeds
Parmesan
ricotta
Ricotta
olive oil
lemon juice
chili flakes
salt and pepper

Boil the pasta using package direction, add spinach the last couple of minutes, drain the pasta and spinach, put it back in the pot, add a drizzle of olive oil, the garlic clove, a bit of lemon juice, a pinch of chili flakes, salt and pepper. Before serving top with parm, pine nuts, and a dollop of ricotta. A dish that would do Popeye proud.

Zombie Style Asparagus - Simple and Easy

1 bunch Asparagus, trimmed
1/4 cup grated Parmesan
2 tbsp oil
1 tsp black pepper

Line a tray with foil. put the asparagus on top, add oil cheese, and pepper and toss. Bake at 425 for 15 minutes, (or more if you like them charred, which they are fantasic charred) Eat them as is, or instead of fries, or cut them up and add them to a pasta dish. You may have noticed no salt is needed, the parm does its thing.

The Modern Chopped Salad - No Zombie Babies Will not eat this salad, but you'll love it

2 raw beets, chopped

1 fennel, stems removed and chopped

1 gala apple, chopped

1/4 cup chopped mint

1/4 cup gorgonzola crumbled (or anything blueish you care for)

1/4 cup pecans, chopped

White Balsamic dressing

Combine it all together, the beets will eventually dye everything pink, so if you like pink then make ahead of time, if pink food affends, then its going to be a last minute mix. Either way though the modern chopped salsd is so much more fun than its ancestor.